Nonpolitical Interludes: The Truth about Fat Fuck Diabetes

60 Minutes is running this "shocking report."

Culled directly from the site:

"Gastric bypass surgery has long been an effective weapon in the battle against obesity, but could it also force type 2 diabetes into almost instant remission? If so, why aren't more people eligible for the operation? Lesley Stahl went looking for answers."

Yo, Lesley, I got your answers right here. Gastric bypass surgery cures Type 2 Diabetes because you can only get Type 2 Diabetes by basically eating yourself into a coma, having no self-respect and turning into a massively fat piece of human trash.

Gastric bypass surgery eliminates one's ability to eat until one becomes similar in look, feel and smell to a hippopotamus's ass. Therefore, it precludes those who undergo the "treatment" from being able to get Fat Fuck Diabetes (FFD from here on).

The reason doctors won't just give this surgery to any Twinkie-lover off the street with FFD is that both hospitals and insurance companies take issue with having to perform invasive surgery to cure a disease that can also be thwarted by PUTTING DOWN THE MOTHERFUCKING TWO LITER OF COKE AND GETTING SOME GODDAMN EXERCISE.

Dammit fat lazy Americans piss me off.