thank god for the british. the bbc has the huevos to say what's right in front of our faces: fat people consume too much energy.
this goes beyond just the fact that they consume "18% more calories than average". they also require more gasoline to tow their fat asses to denny's, more air conditioning to cool their sweaty pathetic excuses for bodies, and so forth.
apologists in the supposed 'fat acceptance movement' would have you believe that we shouldn't judge people based on their size. they say we should accept the fact that our health care system is overburdened by cases of fat fuck diabetes. some asshat from the 'national obesity forum' even said at the end of the aforementioned bbc article that blaming these spheroid slobs for energy woes is "discriminatory towards obese people."
damn right it is. that's ok, and good.
to me, these lardistas represent the ultimate and final failure of the feel-good political correctness movement. this is the bastard son of the civil rights movement, when we all collectively realized we should be less discriminatory towards blacks, gays, women, and so forth. discriminating against them solely on the basis of gayness, blackness, or chickness is not ok. we know that now. however, nobody ever turned black, gay, or female from eating too many doritos. stop defending your right to neglect your own health.
i know a thing or two about this obesity problem. i grew up in that aesthetically pleasing and sexually desirable subgroup of geekdom known as "acne-covered fatty." it's not pretty. right around when i turned 17, i had just about enough having complete shame in my body. it occurred to me that maybe - JUST MAYBE - i could fight my way out fatness and have a little pride in my body. it was then that i discovered two miracle techniques for weight loss.
crack and meth?
anorexia and bulemia?
NO.
DIET AND EXERCISE.
it's really not hard. just ask that annoying pr tool jared fogel. he even managed to pull it off while still eating out every day.
it is in this frame of mind that i wish to send a message to every lardass, porky mcpitstain, and farty fatty out there in the blogosphere:
your fat ass is your fault and your responsibilty. not mcdonalds'. not our culture's. not your pituitary gland's.
yours.
in the face of rising food scarcity and increasing obesity levels in all demographics, i'd like to officially declare the launch on the Global War on Fatties. if you:
A) can't see your own dick,
B) can store whole sandwiches in your folds, or
C) have ever been mistaken for a maternal fertility goddess, and
D) aren't taking any sensible measures to address this problem,
you had better get to a gym and learn to run, because i'm going to personally unleash my throng of starving third-world peasants on you. they're hungry, and they will hunt you, kill you, and gorge themselves on your internal organs.
might as well get some use out of that energy, right?
Friday, May 16, 2008
put down the burger before you kill us all
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5 responses:
I still maintain we should put them all on exercise bikes that are wired in to some kind of energy source.
Once they drop to a healthy weight, they can go back and integrate into society with the rest of us.
Hell, it's a clean-burning energy source, at the very least.
And considering how many of those fatties would probably leave the Bicycletration Camps and go right back to inhaling the Ho-Ho's, it's probably totally renewable too.
It's like the Matrix for fat people, except less evil because we're giving them an out.
And oh yeah, it's for their own good.
nobody ever turned black, gay, or female from eating too many doritos.
I know someone who turned retarded from eating too many ding-dongs...
Seriously, though, screw fat people. And old people. And misbehaving children.
Ok first of all - anyone remember Soylent Green, the scene where Charlton Heston rides a bike to make power to run a electric bulb. I always thought that was a good idea, especially since we have so many exercise freaks around. However that stuff is not gonna generate that much electricity. But every little bit helps.
Secondly, if you heathens have not watched Godard's 68 masterpiece - The Weekend, go netflix it now. Even you Jesus freaks would dig it for the signs of the apocalypse shown in it(if you want to read it that way). A more scorching criticism of consumerism, middle class boredom, psychic violence and of pseudo 60s revolution has never been made. Oh yeah, it has multiple scenes of post car crash carnage and cannibalism in it too.
i remember how i could never find jeans that fit cuz they were all to fucking huge, and kept seeing those big&tall places for special huge sizes.
Shouldn't there instead be small&short for special... normal sizes?
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