Why, the motherfucking Republicans of course.
The New York Times is running a piece about middle-ground Republicans who find themselves defecting from their party during this primary season. With the red nom already in the bag for John McCain, apparently some of the more independent thinkers of the Republican party have started looking around and saying, "Wait a minute. I think John McCain may be a demented lunatic!"
As such, they have begun looking into their other options.
From the article:
Since the start of the primary and caucus season in January, Republican voters have been crossing over in increasing numbers to vote in Democratic contests — supplying up to 10 percent of the vote in states that allow such crossover voting — and they are expected to play a pivotal role in the fiercely contested primary here.
Also:
Initially, Mr. Obama seemed to be getting the bulk of the vote, attracting moderate Republicans who quickly came to be known as Obamacans and lacing his stump speech with references to them. But more recently, Mrs. Clinton’s share of the crossover vote has grown.
So while everyone continues to put a different spin on the running primary narrative, he's a great one from the good people over at the NYT, complete with a fun buzzword: Obamacans. Could someone just shank me now, prison style? Seriously, just put me out of my misery already, because I can't take this bullshit any longer.
According to the so-called report, if the Democrats are looking for a group to fix this whole primary mess and help them decide the best candidate win out in November, they need look no further than across the battlefield, into the eyes of their enemies. For you see, it is their foes who will become their allies, helping the liberals to overcome this insurmountable obstacle of the long and hard-contested war for the title of Democratic Presidential Nominee.
All of this may make for a fun narrative, and it might even sell a few extra newspapers. However, at the end of the day it's just another running of the same pedantic tripe the media seems hellbent on parading in an endless stream of fecal infogoo they dare to call "the news."
What's most hilarious to me is how incredibly obvious it is that the hypercommercialization of anything and everything that turns even the most exiguous of profits in America is eating all of us alive. Here we stand, a nation whose back is breaking under the weight of a failing war, economic paranoia and a crisis of energy and resources never before seen by the citizens of America.
And we're fucking worried about finding the new angle for the next story so we can sell some goddamn newspapers, even if it means we lose out on our last real chance to right this ship in the process.
So fuck you, New York Times, for continuing to run this shit and not having the balls to call the this race already. And shame on us, America, for putting up with it and not demanding better.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Who Will Save the Dems from this Primary Madness?
Death of a Paperboy
Give the paper back to the trees and destroy our eyes with the blinding light of the truth on the glowscreen in real time.
aka print newspapers are dying a slow death in America.
From the Economist:
Much of this decline is being blamed on the rise of the internet, which offers free, round-the-clock coverage, and which has provided a new, better home for classified advertising, once the bedrock of most newspapers’ revenue.
Oops.
Later in the article:
Mr Murdoch’s enthusiasm is a reminder that not all newspapers are suffering. He bought the Wall Street Journal last year, and is investing in a vigorous expansion of its political coverage and international news. This foray on to the traditional turf of the Times seems to be working: the Journal’s circulation is rising.
Hmmm... I wonder why....
Could it be.... SATAN??!!
.jpg)
Friday, May 2, 2008
the wit and wisdom of ron paul
"We need more production, we need sound money, we need less taxes, we need a sensible foreign policy and [a new system] emphasizing personal liberty where creative energy would be released not suppressed."
---
"All empires end for financial reasons," he said. "The Soviet Union… bankrupted themselves and one place where they really bankrupted themselves was their fruitless efforts in Afghanistan - you'd think we'd learn a lesson or two."
---
"The sad part is… if you don't support it - vote against the PATRIOT Act, you're unpatriotic. You vote against the war, you vote against the troops," he said. "They turn it and twist it around. I have come to the firm conclusion that you can be conservative, libertarian, institutionalist - a good American and vote against the war and still be a patriot."
all of this from one college newspaper article about one appearance.
oh yeah, and he called the election for obama too.
update: check him out endorsing his book, and wolf blitzer trying to compare him to marx:
A few unnamed persons here might feel good about this one.
To be fair, I'm still thinking I should've studied computer engineering.
I think, therefore I earn | higher news | EducationGuardian.co.uk
tinfoil hat time: dc madam murdered?
this is the first in a continuing segment dedicated to all types of conspiracy theories. i don't (always) believe them, but come on, everyone loves a good crackpot theory. in this segment, we maintain our love for free speech, but throw rationality and common sense out the window. ladies and gentlemen, it's tinfoil hat time:
ok so dig this. does anybody remember that dc madam? of course you don't. basically, this lady was the pimpette who scored hookers for all those powerful washington types, including this guy. coincidentally, this guy is an advocate of abstinence-only education. seriously, guys. i won't tell you where to put your dick if you don't tell us where to put ours...cool? some of the cranks out on the internet even suspected it could go as far up as vice president vader himself.
anywho, a couple weeks ago, her trial ended with a guilty verdict on federal charges. the maximum sentence on this was a hefty 55 years...long enough to start up a successful dyke-pimping empire in a women's minimum security prison, i'm sure.
unfortunately, that's not in the cards. she's gone up to the big brothel in the sky. the poor old broad hanged herself in her home.
Police earlier said "handwritten notes were found on scene that describes the victim's intention to take her life, and foul play does not appear to be involved."
...OR WAS IT? a blogger working for alex jones, belligerent king of the wingnuts, says otherwise:
"If taken into custody, my physical safety and most probably my very life would be jeopardized," she wrote in August 1991 following an attempt to bring her to trial, "Rape, beating, maiming, disfigurement and more than likely murder disguised in the form of just another jailhouse accident or suicide would await me," said Palfrey in a handwritten letter to the judge accusing the San Diego police vice squad of having a vendetta against her.
During several recent appearances on The Alex Jones Show, Palfrey also said that she was at risk of being killed and that authorities would make it look like suicide. She made it clear that she was not suicidal and if she was found dead it would be murder.
ok this may still fall under the realm of 'conspiracy theory,' but seriously guys...it's not like nobody's killed a hooker who got them in trouble before. dick cheney fucking shot somebody in the face last year. so many of these guys face so much pressure to come off as moral leaders so that dumb housewives from the sticks will vote for them over the baby killer. getting caught with their dicks wet can get them in serious career trouble...it makes sense that someone would grand theft auto the ho (the game, not the felony).
at least, that's what i hear through the fillings in my teeth.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
first baseball, now couch-surfing
we've now entered the second phase of the foreclosure crisis. first, it was normal folks like you and me. now, it's attacking past-their-prime athletes.
ladies and gentlemen, jose canseco is homeless.
"All us guys, we've been doing this for years," Canseco claims. "The only thing anybody seems to want is bigger and better these days. So we just kept getting bigger, and our numbers got artificially high. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but we're all starting pay the price."
While he refused to elaborate further, Canseco plans to name several other baseball players in a new book, tentatively scheduled for release in July. "I can't tell you who, but the names could surprise you."
ok, i totally made that up...but i'd bet something like that might get congress a little more motivated to sort this thing out.
There and back again: A student's tale
Strangely enough, unlike most stereotypical images of blogging, I have joined this project out of a sense of duty rather than a need for emotional ranting. To make myself sound more cool and mysterious, I am an untamed knight errant who fought for his freedom and then gave up his sword... but reluctantly was dragged back into the struggle-- or something pretentious like that. As a pretentious git, I should then introduce myself.
I, like not a few American students, have just yesterday discovered that my student lenders stopped issuing any more loans. I confirmed it over the phone with my broker-- they said that they could not help me any more and wish me the best of luck in finding another lender.
This in itself is not unusual. What is unusual is that I am studying in the United Kingdom, at the University of Edinburgh.*
Despite that I am currently $70,000+ in debt and only a year away from graduating (with top honours it would have been...), at this point I am facing having to drop out and return home with no degree, as I have no resources for aid here.
What does a person do in the USA these days, with only a high school diploma, a lifetime of debt, and a work history of dead-end jobs? I think (hope) we Yanks know the truth: it's better to never go to uni than to drop out: "I was getting 1st-class honours-- but I ran out of money so I couldn't finish". Very sexy at a job interview. Anyway, I may soon find out the hard way. I've not been home in a long time, so I can only say what filters across the pond-- and I'm pretty worried. From what I gather, there's no room for top-level economists and engineers, let alone people without any official value.
"Why don't you just stay in the UK?" Well, to be fair, I may have to... even though I'm not allowed to. If I don't have any money and drop out, I have to leave... but I don't have any money... to leave. yeah. I've actually already met a few people who've been rung out and hung to dry. Sudanese bioinformatics experts who work in security companies for two years on a working holiday, trying to get a job... and in the end don't even have enough money for a plane ticket home, so they have to overstay their visas. As someone who grew up in San Diego (more or less), I am terrified of this possibility in so many different ways.
I, like a smaller number of people, was shafted by FAFSA. I was financially-dependent and ineligible for any support but didn't get any family support like Führer Bush's family values-speeches proclaim-- until the age of 20. I was very, very tired of struggling for three years-- can't get a full-time job without a degree, but you can't afford to go to uni without a full-time job.
For over four years I've screamed with boiling fury, worse than any crazy Imam in Pakistan you hear about, about decadent Southern Californians bringing the end of the world-- how "everyone is in debt", how "no one has a real job" (i.e. anything outwith retail), how "you've got to be poor, black, a genius or have a loving family to make it"... and it's going to all fail-- and I knew I had to escape if I ever wanted to make it. So I did-- for a while. You say to yourself: "why didn't you go to uni in America and then leave?"
After being put $5,000+ in debt for medical-related instances, and paying about $200/mo for car insurance (being 20, male, and having one accident) I realised very quickly that my life was going down unless I did something drastic. I was uninsured, being at 3 part-time jobs working about 60 hours per week (which would randomly rotate and churn as I quit/was sacked from one due to "stress-related performance issues"-- gee, I wonder...) and still barely affording to live in sunny SoCal. In fact, only when my timetables clashed and I was simultaneously sacked from all three jobs, making me have a nervous breakdown and being taken in by a friend's family did I all at once get a dependency override and my income dipped low enough to render me any sort of aid. I'm not even sure if those income criteria matched living-cost inflation in the 1970's, let alone today). Of course, I also now had medical bills to take care of.
Political, socio-economic and even any simple Eurotrash-idealising views aside, I knew that I would do well somewhere else. My first year was extremely difficultlt, with almost no money and still trying to get a lender to even look at me seriously. I think I'm the first American to ever stay in a Scottish homeless hostel for a night. I'm very, very surprised I got a B and two C's for my courses that year.
The UK is an extremely liberal country-- that is, not as in left-wing, but more like libertarian. In fact, people in the UK and from just about every other country as well seem to say the UK is the country "closest to the USA"-- whatever you want to interpret that as. Most of them say it in anything but a positive light, though.
However, even as a foreigner here (and trust me, we are thoroughly treated like er... non-citizens by the system in many different aspects), I do not have to jump through hoops to go through health-insurance underwriting, to get quotes ranging from $50-500/mo depending on God's will. People say the NHS is shit, but it's free at cost of usage. People don't have heart attacks here and deal with it without calling an ambulance. People don't pull teeth out with pliers. I was in nearly the same situation. People say: "oh, but don't you wait 6 months to see a doctor?" Err, you see 6 months to see a dermatologist for acne. If you have a broken bone you wait about 6 hours... and that's a specialist. I've never had to wait more than 1 week to see a general practitioner (who really only seem useful for referring to a specialist or prescribing cure-alls like codeine [mmm]).
I don't have to submit myself to the fates for car insurance, batshit-insane Californian drivers, or rising petrol prices. The bus works. It just went up to £1.10 per trip. They generally come pretty often, and even when they don't, most people take the bus so the boss isn't really miffed if you're 5 minutes late as long as you phone.
I have held the same job for 3 years and am very successful at it-- as shit as the job is. Even with the load**, I have managed to improve my grades dramatically. I was a happy, healthy person. I don't even need health insurance any more if I really didn't want it.
But this wasn't without cost-- the UK is still one of the most expensive countries in the world. The UK is currently suffering the same bug as America-- a housing bubble saddled with a credit crisis-- and guess what? now domino-style foreclosures-- but layered on top is a currency that is stupidly strong. If you think an Amsterdam holiday is expensive as an American, live here and a weekend in Amsterdam feels like partying in Mexico-- only with architecture, drugs and really hot chicks of course, dudemanbro. And actually, the quality of life here is pretty fucking shit considering what it costs. I make more working a shit job here than I would being a doctor in Poland-- but in Poland, at least the houses are made to handle the seasons, the medical service is better, the trains run (relatively) on-time, the crime is lower, you get four real seasons instead of "wet" and "wetter", the food isn't picked early, freeze-dried and shipped all the way from New Zealand because it costs less than the stuff grown next door. And of course everyone knows that Polish women are the shit, and British women are, well...
Ultimately though, I've really only traded individually-weighted costs of speculative insurance underwriting with regularised, societally-weighted costs. Everyone goes through the same tax-bracketing system-- and it makes for a very stable lifestyle. You can plan. You can save. I never knew what "budgeting" was until I came to the UK: The idea that you can actually predict how much a single year will cost is something I still can't really believe is true-- I must have been dreaming. I could've easily been $70,000+ in debt for studying in America, but instead I knew I would have an okay life here for the same price.
I thought I could forget about these past troubles-- but they've come back. I now must face the realities of what will happen to me in 4 months' time-- when the tuition bill comes-- and I may not be able to finish the investment I made. It will probably be my ruin. I might have been able to prove my usefulness to the UK gov't over the course of a maximum of a ridiculous 15 years of a multitude of "temporary" migration/work-permit/skills programmes bullshit... if I'd got a degree.
Apparently I've never escaped the Californian lifestyle. Those big houses, those quadruple mortgages... the fact that the retail sector makes the majority of the US economy. The most dangerous bubble was one I couldn't get away from-- student loans. I'd have a mortgage and a degree over a house and no degree any day-- is a degree not the safest investment in terms of profit? I suppose that's not true anymore. I'll have to pay back my debts, whether or not I got the degree or even if I can pay them back. I'll be honest and say that suicide has crossed my mind more than once as a possible exit route -- and I'm not even in that actual situation yet. I can't imagine what people who are already out of the frying pan and into the fire think about.
At this point I have no idea what lender would ever touch an American living overseas, with no cosigner and $30,000+ of credit-based unsecured debt but only four years of credit history in these times -- as even three years ago, of all the dozens of lenders I tried, all required a cosigner at the very least. I know that come August, my 750 FICO will mean jack shit. I'm not even sure if an 850 FICO would work, considering "debt-to-income" ratio.***
I can't even transfer to an American uni because a) I don't have ANY general ed courses (they're done in school here, not at uni) and b) the grading system is so different that if I transfer now, my grades look lackluster at best-- but if I could finish this year and next year with A's, I would in translation have a 4.0+ degree with distinction.
it gets a bit old when you write in your undergraduate letter of motivation basically: "I don't have good marks because I have to work", and you find that now you'd be writing in your (post)graduate letter: "I don't have good marks because I have to work". Eventually people stop caring. No wonder I never got a scholarship. Whoever came up with this "A for effort" idea should be shot to destroy their schizophrenic delusions.
To shorten this long, blathering introduction, I've come to this blog for my craziness and trying to escape, and now that I realised I really can't ever escape, I may as well transmit signals of reason and contemplation until the ship is saved, or sinks to the bottom.
The nice thing about the UK is you meet people from all walks of life and the world suddenly seems very... diverse once again. Hopefully my pretentious worldly European wisdom can be of benefit to this blog. At the very least, I get the BBC and British comedy is way better than American.
Gladly ask me any and all sorts of questions about life as an expatriate, an international student, an American abroad, a US student, an independent student, intercultural relations, comparative politics/economics, which country has the best beer; I am your fount of knowledge. Drink your fill, bitches.
*Please excuse any extra u's or inverted word-final er's-- I've been here long enough that I can't be bothered to keep up my proficiency in proper American. The upside is that it apparently increases my IQ by 10 points and I imagine when I go back to the States I can get as much American fanny as I want.
**British uni is VERY time-intensive. Don't think that they gave you one book to read per week for shits and giggles. If we numerous foreign cash cows pay this much for uni, and there are so few lectures per week, why are lecturers paid shit?
***I've always found it brilliant how student loans are tied to your income: that's really, really beneficial to students-- that in order to get a loan for studies, they have to work during their studies and fuck up their GPA. How does one work full-time and write a 15,000 word dissertation on theoretical linguistics at the same time that they have four courses to attend? by failing at them. that's a great way to make someone successful enough to be able to pay back their $1,000/mo. burden.
Right-Wing Rant: Gas Prices Part 2
I'm Joeverkill... Right-Wing Rant, yada yada.
On my previous post regarding oil prices, Minotauromachy voiced the opinion that current gas prices are not entirely the result of a free market economy. This point is very valid: gas production is up more than 5% from last year, while consumption is down 4% [stats can be found here ].
Minotauromachy asked if I had a plan to prevent price-gouging and provide some short-term relief to consumers while a long-term solution is derived (thanks for asking, Minotauro!).
So, here's my plan: levy a progressive profit margins tax on oil companies and refineries. The higher your profit margins, the higher your tax rate. The tax should kick in at 0% profit margin and go exponentially upward from there, pushing up to 90% or so if profit margins go past, say, 40% (these are all ballpark figures, of course).
There are problems with hard, mandated price controls. Companies can get seriously burned if costs skyrocket, which is definitely a possibility in the world of oil production right now. Additionally, consumers can suffer from massive shortages if price controls are set too far below what the market would dictate. But my plan is not an outright, mandated price control. Instead it is a more flexible system, one that prevents price gouging and curtails corporate greed, while safeguarding against the dangers of hard price controls.
I'm Joeverkill, and this has been a Right-Wing Rant. Sort of.
happy may day, y'all!
i dare one of you neocon nouveau-riche idiots to question labor unions to my face. i come from several generations of teamsters.
congress continues funding destruction, stops funding construction
so according to the san francisco chronicle, the house is putting together "$108 billion that the White House has requested for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Lawmakers who are drafting it say it also will include a so-called bridge fund of $70 billion to give the new president several months of breathing room before having to ask Congress for more money."
i'm not sure where i stand on withdrawal timetables, etc. on one hand, quick and immediate withdrawal would create a power vacuum, allowing petty warlords to take the country peacemeal, tearing it asunder. on the other hand, that's ALREADY FUCKING HAPPENED.
the city of san francisco is, as we all know, one of the biggest havens for progressives in the united states. one thing you may not know, however, is that it's nancy pelosi's constituency. those nuts have been talking about immediate withdrawal for years. pelosi, you dumbass, you're committing political suicide. good luck making it through the '08 election after you have failed in every possible way to challenge the worst chief executive in the history of the united states. her excuse (from the same article): "we had hoped that the president would listen to the will of the people and at least be willing to compromise on ... how the war is conducted and some timetable for redeployment of our troops." come on, idiot. you became speaker in november of '06. by then we all knew bush didn't listen to anyone.
so in the face of a vast budget deficit, rising commodities prices, and an obese peasantry having trouble affording its bread and circuses, what is an inept, out-of-touch congress to do? why, make iraq pay to rebuild the shit we blow up, of course! apparently "Democrats and many Republicans say it is unfair that Iraq is looking at pulling in as much as $70 billion in oil revenues this year while Americans grapple with soaring fuel prices at the pump."
of course it's not fair! how dare they make money off of their oil? WE were supposed to make money off of it. iraq, i used to think you were cool, but you've changed, man.
update: wait, why does the war still cost so much? wasn't our mission accomplished five years ago?
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Right-Wing Rant: Gun Control
I'm Joeverkill, and this is another Right-Wing Rant.
In light of the recent anti-gun posts by colleagues, I feel that I, as the blog's resident right-winger, have a responsibility to respond.
Guns control is not the answer to violent crime.
The arguments that gun bans decrease violent crime have been showed to be back by inconclusive data at best, and completely incorrect at worst. States with "shall-issue" concealed carry laws invariably saw a decrease in violent crime in the years immediately following the passage of these laws. Since Florida adopted shall-issue right-to-carry in 1987, its murder rate has decreased 51%.
The most recent first-world country to adopt gun bans was Australia. Following the passage of these bans, gun owners in Australia were forced by to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by their own government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than
$500 million dollars. The results from the first 12 months after the bans:
Homicides increased 3.2%.
Assaults increase 8.6%.
Armed robberies increased 44%.
Liberals mock the argument that guns play a positive role in preventing oppression from the government. Let's take a quick look back at the 20th century, shall we?
- In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953,
about 20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded
up and exterminated.
million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and
exterminated.
- Germany established gun bans in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, a
total of 13 million Jews and others who were unable to defend
themselves were rounded up and exterminated.
- China established gun bans in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20 million
political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and
exterminated.
- Guatemala established gun bans in 1964. From 1964 to 1981, 100,000
Mayan Indians, unable to defend them selves , were rounded up and
exterminated.
- Uganda established gun bans in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000
Christians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and
exterminated.
- Cambodia established gun bans in 1956. From 1975 to 1977, one
million educated' people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up
and exterminated.
- Defenseless people rounded up and exterminated in the 20th Century
because of gun control: 56 million.
So what's the deal, America? Have the soccer moms won? Has Rosie O'Donnell gotten into your heads so much that you can't think straight and read the statistics?
My fellow bloggers make reasonable arguments against concealed-carry on campus. In my opinion, this issue should be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. However, I will say this: Seung-Hui Cho did not have a concealed carry permit. But I bet there are a lot of Virginia Tech students out there who wish someone was around on that day, who did. Steven Phillip Kazmeirczak did not have a concealed carry permit. But I bet there are plenty of Northern Illinois students who wish that there was someone around on that day, who did.
I'm Joeverkill, and this has been the Right-Wing Rant.
Gawwwwwwd Bless Amuuuuurrrrrrrrka! Laaaaannd Full of Guuunnnnnns!
Courtesy of The Economist.
Just remember - Guns don't kill people. An innate distrust of your own government and neighbors to the point that you feel the need to own a firearm to protect yourself from the establishment and your fellow citizens kills people.
However, I do love that France is second. What a bunch of hypocritical sycophantic pussies.
clinton, mccain propose gas tax holiday, fail econ 101
gas is officially reaching $4/gal here in san diego, traditionally one of the more expensive gasoline markets in the us. the rest of america will soon follow suit. so how do gi john and little miss cry-for-votes propose we fix the problem?
let's artificially slash gas prices by getting rid of all the federal revenue we get from gas taxes! cheap gas this summer! we can all afford to take road trips get to work!
jesus christ. i think the straight talk express is actually a short bus, if you catch my drift.
unfortunately, neither clinton with her wellesley and yale degrees nor mccain with his five year study abroad course in 'enhanced interrogation methods' seems to understand the fundamentals of supply and demand. the free marketeers in the gop have a point - the 'invisible hand' has to move the market by itself. if gas gets unnaturally cheaper, more people will fill their tanks. maybe i haven't spent enough time in dc, but shouldn't we start discouraging oil and gas consumption? sadly, the people who run the show don't seem to agree. from the nyt:
Few Americans know it, but for almost a year now, Congress has been bickering over whether and how to renew the investment tax credit to stimulate investment in solar energy and the production tax credit to encourage investment in wind energy. The bickering has been so poisonous that when Congress passed the 2007 energy bill last December, it failed to extend any stimulus for wind and solar energy production. Oil and gas kept all their credits, but those for wind and solar have been left to expire this December. I am not making this up. At a time when we should be throwing everything into clean power innovation, we are squabbling over pennies.
barack says know your role, and shut your mouth:
"It would last for three months and it would save you on average half a tank of gas, $25 to $30. That's what Senator Clinton and Senator McCain are proposing to deal with the gas crisis," he said on Tuesday in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
"This isn't an idea designed to get you through the summer, it's an idea designed to get them through an election."
yep. honestly, i don't think anybody's donors over at exxon-mobil would be down with any real petroleum industry reform.
on another level, it's very telling that the ap headline for this article refers to it as the "clinton-mccain gas tax holiday." we're figuring you out, you dirty republicrats. you're all one party, running on the "fuck iran '08" ticket.
update: in my enthusiasm to talk mad shit (what else is new), i totally forgot that joeverkill already addressed this issue. oops.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Nonpolitical Interludes: American Idol Recap
Preface: One of my roommates is a real live girl. I get to watch all the sports I want if she gets to watch American Idol.
So yeah, so anyway, this happened on American Idol.
Awesome.
VTU and Univ of Illinois Gun Dealer offers guns at cost for the benefit of the public
In life, one does not often come across charitable gun salesmen - surely this new phenomenon is an oxymoron to end all oxymorons, preferably with hollow points to the head. Eric Thompson, the owner of TGSCOM Inc, the company that runs the websites that sold guns to Cho and Kazmierczak is now offering to give guns away for cost -
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/24/va.tech.niu/index.html
He is doing this, he says because - "I want to help people save lives," . Just like he did on the two prior occasions. This is the kind of news the Onion could not make up if it tried. Only in America can a gun salesman who acknowldges that he has no way of even determining whether the people who buy guns from him are college students (he initially proposed to offer the discount to students but realised it was not possible to do this) claim that he is doing the community a favor by making it easier (economically in this case) to buy guns. This is a sure fire way to secure the safety of the community, pun intended. In his words - "But there's no real way to determine whether someone is a college student ... so we opened it up to any legal American." Atleast he is keeping Jose from getting his hands on the trigger. That makes it so much safer for us to rest at night. He even acknowledges that some of the guns he sells may end up in the wrong hands. He is one self aware mensch he is.
He demands that we distance him from the actions of the men who pulled the trigger, that he only supplied some metal and plastic. Lovingly crafted metal and plastic that he now wants to give away to assuage his guilt. He says - "This isn't fun, and this isn't easy , I could have easily stuck my head in the sand and ignored all of this, but sometimes the easy way to go is not the right thing to do." What a sense of ethical responsibility this man has? A true citizen. He could be goose stepping to Wagner in an NRA recruitment video. At the end of the interview he whines about potentially losing thousands of dollars from his pioneering 'flood the streets with cheap handguns'' campaign. It might break the back of his family, reduce him to penury, but his cold dead hands just have to give away handguns.
Remember the last scene in 'Throne of Blood' where the Toshiro Mifune's evil wife tries desperately to wash blood off her hands. Even a character as depraved as her feels a pang of conscience at the end. Not our friend Thompson who sees himself as the Red Cross of handguns, distributing them to the bullet-wound-and-colostomy-bag-deprived young urbans. Let us bring back the crossfire dodging charm of the old west he is saying, a true conservationist.
It is funny how people like him see society strictly in terms of good guys who feel a heart rendering and beautiful need to protect themselves and bad guys who shoot up the place and kill innocents. A good person does not turn bad until he commits a deed. We are all potential murderers and thieves and school shooters. That piece of metal or plastic is not just a neutral product like an automobile or a can of juice. It is designed to and makes it easier to kill. Arming people is not the solution. I will leave the last word to our buddy Eric - "I do not feel I have extreme views," he said. "I think I have open eyes." Well then remove the blinders you have in front of them so you can see clearly.
Guy who sold guns to school shooters wants concealed weapons on campus
Ok dig this. The guy who sold guns to both Sueng Hui Cho and Steven Kazmierczak - the shooters at VTU and Univ of Illinois spoke on the VTUcampus at an event sponsored by a student organisation favoring carrying concealed weapons on campus -
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/25/vatech.guns/index.html
This guy is the classic shameless salesman. First he sold guns to the guys who shot up the university, creating an atmosphere of fear and now he wants to sell more guns to the people who were traumatised by violence. How low is that? Whatever his beliefs may be, however much he values the second ammendment, does he not have atleast a sense of decency and respect for the victims of the shootings? Why doesnt Bill O Riley protest this speech. He had his typical leaden words for Nas when he performed at the same campus, claiming that his violent lyrics and violent crime convictions made him an insensitive choice as campus entertainment. What about this guy who has blood on his hands?
How many of you readers want to go to a school where the ambitious nut next to you packs heat? Hell would you want to be in a classroom with me if I had a gun on me? I have come to class in some really messed up emotional situations - severly hung over and depressed etc. I have had words with people in class that could have escalated into serious violence if it was in a bar. The great thing about a college classroom is the freedom to speak your mind without fear of repercussions - intellectual or physical. Do you really want to discuss peaceful solutions to world problems in an IR class with a glock sticking into your crotch? Or declaim the poetry of TS Eliot while someone next to you falls asleep on his gun.
What about some of the insane professors you have had? Do you really want to be late on that assignment you owe to that creepy stutterer who stares at the girls in the front row and now packs a 9. I would rather have guns in my rap lyrics than in the hands of the guy whose points I eviscerate with my logic in philosophy class. In fact I want my rap lyrics drowned in buckets of blood so that when I step into class I can focus on reality - which does not imply gun ownership to feel safe.
Nonpolitical Interludes: We Have Confirmed Possible Statuatory, Roger, Over.
It's so hard for me to pick my favorite thing about this story that says that apparently Roger Clemens has been banging country singer Mindy McCready for the better part of the last decade or something. I honestly don't know, I just skimmed this article for the juicy bits.
Among my favorite tidbits?
1) Roger Clemens allegedly sent McCready money through an intermediary, some checks in excess of 20k, to help her with legal troubles (the Mc has a bit of a pill issue... there was this whole thing where she was accused of "prescription fraud" or something).
Everyone who has ever given a ton of money to a woman with problems who WASN'T doing fun things to your penis, raise your hand. yeeeeeeahhhhh....
2) Roger Clemens was married the whole time this was (allegedly) going on. The whole time. To a woman who likes to compare her fake tots to other ballplayer wives' fake tots who likes to do HGH. That's like the RC's dream woman, right? Apparently not.
3) He met her at a bar called "The Hired Hand" in Florida.
4) He took her home that night.
5) She was FIF-FUCKING-TEEN YEARS OLD.
6) According to ol' RC, they didn't do anything back at the hotel. Yeah. Because every man who ever took a hot, underage, aspiring country singer back to his top-floor first-class master-suite in Florida just wanted to have a sleepover. She paint your toenails, Rog? Did you guys give each other makeovers? (there's a facial joke in there I'm staying away from)
And yet, with all of this... that's not my favorite subplot of this story.
My favorite subplot of this story is... *drumroll*
7) During a portion of this alleged affair, Mindy McCready was engaged to Dean Cain.
To those of you out there who are on welfare and don't have TV, Dean Cain played Superman on a show once. This is my favorite part of the story because it means I get to type this next sentence with impunity.
Roger Clemens is a lying, cheating minorfucker who hates Superman, his own family and the entire game of baseball (allegedly).
Monday, April 28, 2008
united states secret service, uniformed division
which is creepier: the president's guards in matching, non-descript black suits, or the same guys in uniform? turns out they got those guys in uniform, alright. the united states secret service, uniformed division. what do they do, you ask? from their website:
"While protection of the White House Complex remains its primary mission, the Uniformed Division's responsibilities have expanded greatly over the years.
They now protect the following:
* the White House Complex, the Main Treasury Building and Annex, and other Presidential offices;
* the President and members of the immediate family;
* the temporary official residence of the Vice President in the District of Columbia;
* the Vice President and members of the immediate family; and
* foreign diplomatic missions in the Washington, D.C., metropolitan area and throughout the United States, and its territories and possessions, as prescribed by statute."
pretty innocuous, right? basically these guys are the kings of american rent-a-cops, making sure nobody starts any shenanigans in the white house. "don't shit in the lincoln bedroom," "please call it 'enhanced interrogation,' not torture," "we know he sucks too but please don't punch the president," etc, etc.
turns out these guys have been given a couple extra responsibilities in bush's Global War on Everything. here's a little excerpt from the 2005 patriot act renewal:
(b)(1) Under the direction of the Director of the Secret Service, members of the United States Secret Service Uniformed Division are authorized to--
`(A) carry firearms;
`(B) make arrests without warrant for any offense against the United States committed in their presence, or for any felony cognizable under the laws of the United States if they have reasonable grounds to believe that the person to be arrested has committed or is committing such felony;
i'm no constitutional scholar, but something about that ain't quite right. so these glorified traffic cops work for the president, can arrest anyone on sight if they have 'reasonable grounds' (apparently different from the more constitutional 'probable cause'), and don't need a warrant?
oh patriot act, what will you fuck up next?
we're doubly fucked: ap
this picture came through on yahoo news, attached to the "stimulus packages are coming" headline. click the pic, however, and you'll see a headline "food prices spark protest."
to ms. anonymous gas-tank-filler:
you'll get a lot more sympathy from the ichf staff when you're filling something other than that audi suv. in fact, bicycles don't even need gas! idiot.
update: a group in san francisco has organized a PRAY-IN to lower gas prices. normally, asking god for price controls is the domain of the president alone, but he has been too busy asking for nachos, a gun that lights poor people on fire, and a rangers world series victory.
update 2: i totally forgot about yesterday's canary in the coal mine...i was at costco buying the supercheap stuff from the food court. you wouldn't imagine the kind of line i saw yesterday...bigger than i've ever seen in my years of getting cheap food there. screw rice, i'm stocking up on hot dogs and soft serve. the line at the costco gas station was equally gnarly.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
ron paul: still alive!
well, we can account for 100,000+ votes from the 'bitter' gun nuts, internet geeks, pot smokers, and other miscellaneous cranks in pennsylvania: ron paul took 15.9%. even though he knows he can't statistically win, he's running just to give those all those big-money, big-state, big-war republicans an ideological asswhuppin', libertarian style.
seriously, you gotta show the guy a little love. in those crazy early days of the primaries, when debate topics were yes/no questions answered by raising a hand, he was able to call out rudy "9/11" giuliani's sheer cartoonish hawk bullshit. rudy's campaign was never really the same, thank god. sure, some of old man paul's political stumps don't really work (yeah, leaving the un is a GREAT idea), but we all know that he built his support off of being a contrarian shit-talker rather than somebody your parents would vote for.
politico just ran an article about his continuing campaign, and the people that still support him:
But while keeping to the same mantra — “I have no plan, no intention to do so” — Paul is also not completely slamming the door shut on a third-party run. And, perhaps more worrisome for Republicans should they have a tight race with the eventual Democratic nominee, he’s also not ruling out supporting a third-party candidate.
Asked what he would do if his supporters approached him this fall and asked him whom to support, Paul replied, “I’ll respond when I think I should — when we know where the ducks are lining up.”
when it's all said and done, the story of ron paul very well could be the story of a new grassroots-based ideological bloc in america, and maybe even a third party. good timing for it, too. we can talk all we like about the great candidates that are running for the presidency, but the two-party system has never failed america like it has right now. voters hate the president, but they only hate his opposition in congress slightly less. pelosi's a chickenshit that won't even consider impeaching a guy guilty of several crimes that we know about.
one can only hope he drops the ralph nader effect on john mccain in november.