Who Will Save the Dems from this Primary Madness?

Why, the motherfucking Republicans of course.

The New York Times is running a piece about middle-ground Republicans who find themselves defecting from their party during this primary season. With the red nom already in the bag for John McCain, apparently some of the more independent thinkers of the Republican party have started looking around and saying, "Wait a minute. I think John McCain may be a demented lunatic!"

As such, they have begun looking into their other options.

From the article:

Since the start of the primary and caucus season in January, Republican voters have been crossing over in increasing numbers to vote in Democratic contests — supplying up to 10 percent of the vote in states that allow such crossover voting — and they are expected to play a pivotal role in the fiercely contested primary here.

Also:

Initially, Mr. Obama seemed to be getting the bulk of the vote, attracting moderate Republicans who quickly came to be known as Obamacans and lacing his stump speech with references to them. But more recently, Mrs. Clinton’s share of the crossover vote has grown.

So while everyone continues to put a different spin on the running primary narrative, he's a great one from the good people over at the NYT, complete with a fun buzzword: Obamacans. Could someone just shank me now, prison style? Seriously, just put me out of my misery already, because I can't take this bullshit any longer.

According to the so-called report, if the Democrats are looking for a group to fix this whole primary mess and help them decide the best candidate win out in November, they need look no further than across the battlefield, into the eyes of their enemies. For you see, it is their foes who will become their allies, helping the liberals to overcome this insurmountable obstacle of the long and hard-contested war for the title of Democratic Presidential Nominee.

All of this may make for a fun narrative, and it might even sell a few extra newspapers. However, at the end of the day it's just another running of the same pedantic tripe the media seems hellbent on parading in an endless stream of fecal infogoo they dare to call "the news."

What's most hilarious to me is how incredibly obvious it is that the hypercommercialization of anything and everything that turns even the most exiguous of profits in America is eating all of us alive. Here we stand, a nation whose back is breaking under the weight of a failing war, economic paranoia and a crisis of energy and resources never before seen by the citizens of America.

And we're fucking worried about finding the new angle for the next story so we can sell some goddamn newspapers, even if it means we lose out on our last real chance to right this ship in the process.

So fuck you, New York Times, for continuing to run this shit and not having the balls to call the this race already. And shame on us, America, for putting up with it and not demanding better.