Nonpolitical Interludes: We Have Confirmed Possible Statuatory, Roger, Over.

It's so hard for me to pick my favorite thing about this story that says that apparently Roger Clemens has been banging country singer Mindy McCready for the better part of the last decade or something. I honestly don't know, I just skimmed this article for the juicy bits.

Among my favorite tidbits?

1) Roger Clemens allegedly sent McCready money through an intermediary, some checks in excess of 20k, to help her with legal troubles (the Mc has a bit of a pill issue... there was this whole thing where she was accused of "prescription fraud" or something).

Everyone who has ever given a ton of money to a woman with problems who WASN'T doing fun things to your penis, raise your hand. yeeeeeeahhhhh....

2) Roger Clemens was married the whole time this was (allegedly) going on. The whole time. To a woman who likes to compare her fake tots to other ballplayer wives' fake tots who likes to do HGH. That's like the RC's dream woman, right? Apparently not.

3) He met her at a bar called "The Hired Hand" in Florida.

4) He took her home that night.

5) She was FIF-FUCKING-TEEN YEARS OLD.

6) According to ol' RC, they didn't do anything back at the hotel. Yeah. Because every man who ever took a hot, underage, aspiring country singer back to his top-floor first-class master-suite in Florida just wanted to have a sleepover. She paint your toenails, Rog? Did you guys give each other makeovers? (there's a facial joke in there I'm staying away from)

And yet, with all of this... that's not my favorite subplot of this story.

My favorite subplot of this story is... *drumroll*

7) During a portion of this alleged affair, Mindy McCready was engaged to Dean Cain.

To those of you out there who are on welfare and don't have TV, Dean Cain played Superman on a show once. This is my favorite part of the story because it means I get to type this next sentence with impunity.

Roger Clemens is a lying, cheating minorfucker who hates Superman, his own family and the entire game of baseball (allegedly).